We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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