so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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