u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
