i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
