I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
