How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
