smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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