I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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