similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
