she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Will exercising make me less horny?
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