I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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