U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
