You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
