I'm really into asian looking animals
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
