Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
