look no pants
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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