i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no, he came in my armpit
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
