Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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