We left an ass print on the piano.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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