So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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