dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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