Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
