Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
