Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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