What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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