May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
