question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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