I just made out with a guy for $7.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
