It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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