I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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