that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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