My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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