Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
