she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
