i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
