Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
