I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear god my vagina.
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