also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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