I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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