Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
