ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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