I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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