well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
