So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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