You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
