i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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