dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
