i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
