can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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