just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
