So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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